What impact will the Facebook unfriend finder app have on our FB relationships?

unfriend finderIt started as a phishing scam or other malware, at least for me, when I was offered an app to let me see who had unfriended me on Facebook.  The solicitations looked scammy, and I ignored them.  I found out the other day that there IS a Facebook Unfriend Finder app.  The app’s page  has about 10,500 Likes, and from my testing, the app does what it says – lets you know when someone unfriends you (it also advises you when one of your friends closes his/her FB account).  Could this little app change the way we  use Facebook?

Enter the therapist

How does it make you feel when someone unfriends you on Facebook?  If it’s someone you hardly know or don’t know, your response is probably meh.  But what if it’s a close business associate, or long time real life friend?  What feelings, what pain, what anger wells up at the thought of someone you love, or someone you have been quietly stalking on Facebook, suddenly turning off that friendship?

Don’t murder me, I beg of you, dont murder me. Please, dont murder me.~Grateful Dead

We probably all have a few weirdos, trolls and stalkers on our friends list.  I know that from now on I will carefully consider the implications of  the Unfriend Finder app  before making the decision to unfriend.    I will assume that everyone is using the app.  I may come face to face with them be  confronted.   At a meeting the other day I sat across the table from someone who had unfriended me that morning.  Our relationship had changed.  It impacted the meeting, and he probably never realized it.  We are seeing more and more  stories of violence and murder over Facebook relationships.  Facebook relationships are being cited in criminal and civil (i.e. divorce) cases.

Do you use the app?  If you didn’t know it was there, will you look it up and installed?  How will you handle being unfriended?  Your comments are welcomed!

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Joe Spake is a Memphis-based Real Estate Broker and Consultant. He blogs at Joe Spake's Weblog and Memphis Real Estate Buzz. Joe's Social Network.

  • Liz

    I’m not sure if I want to install this or not. Hmmm…

  • I won’t use the app. I really don’t want to know when someone unfriends me!

  • It was really strange when I was in a meeting with the first person it identified as unfriending me. Whether we use the app or not, we probably need to be aware that others are.

  • Liz, in the words of Mr. T, I pity the fool who would unfriend you.

  • Liz, In the words of Mr. T, I pity the fool who would unfriend you.

  • Liz

    You already know me so well, Joe! 

  • Robert

     I stumbled on a better solution than an app haha.  http://www.unfriendviewer.com – though it has it’s own issues, the main functionality works

  • But does it work ? have a suspicion it may “unfriend” someone for you. Without either the “friend” or me doing the unfriending…

  • bdsista

    One of my friends from college unfriended me because they had become a minister and I was a bellydancer. Never mind, I still am a christian and my pastor and his daughter are my FB friends. So one less overly judgemental person on my page. Oh and guess who’s been asked to start a praise dance ministry? You got it! Wouldn’t use the app, I already know.

  • I can tell you that Facebook it self will unfriend you from someone then put it back so making snap judgments on such things is very unwise I have 600 plus and I do notice when it is family or friends or they do… and we are like what the heck? Facebook has its own issues so having this to use to see if it is real in a responsible friendly way, could be a good tool if you have alot of friends on a list.

  • Haven’t used this app but I don’t care if anyone ‘unfriends’ me at FB — EXCEPT when I THINK he / she is close to me. Three (3) of my relatives and one (1) friend whom I helped substantially in their trying times, ‘unfriended’ me. I had mixed emotions — sadness, shock, pain and anger. Sometimes I had a feeling of regret why I helped them only to be ‘unfriended’ later. Being FB-connected with / to them is important to me, but obviously it’s the opposite for them. So the question at that point is — What situation will I prefer – (1) help them and get disconnected later, or (2) not help them and stay connected? Can it be help them and stay connected? But reality strikes. As is. What happened, happened, and can’t be changed. Life must go on with or without them – in real and virtual worlds. There are ungrateful people. This is a fact of life that we should accept. Another fact to accept: they are not that close to us!

  • interesting how you only mentioned 3 of the 4 possibilities, and the 4th possibility, which you may not want to confront, has te potential to render the whole question of whether to help them moot. you could not help and not stay connected. if your intervention couldn’t salvage the relationship, then how can you rely on them staying whether you help them or not? unless you were intruding in a way. then you should take those three losses and question whether your help was even welcome or warranted. if it is welcome and warranted, and you’re the helping kind, you should always help. you have no control over the outcome, and that’s something that you have to consider when offering a helping hand (or heart). you always have to be willing to risk the relationship when you intervene. you have to care about them that much. if you don’t, well then, your question is answered. i’ve had to make that call. and it isn’t always a go.

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