Facebook Unfriend Finder and Unfriending – Revisited

[UPDATE ON THE UNFRIEND FINDER FACEBOOK APP – May 17, 2013
This was posted by the developer of the app today:
The social network asked the removal of the extension because it violates its terms.
Specifically, Unfriend Finder injects unauthorized code into the social networks’s source code in order to alter the way that the webpages are rendered in users browsers
It adds unauthorized links to users’ bookmark sections;
And posts unauthorized notifications regarding which users have “unfriended” the user or “ignored” his or her friend requests.

I cannot enforce this and will cease the developement of this Extension.
Unfriend Finder has been around for 3 years, and many of you enjoyed this, but it cannot go further.

Thank you for your support.]

____________________________
FB unfriendLast week, on Facebook, I asked this question: Would you unfriend a Facebook “friend” who won’t speak to you or even acknowledge your presence in public?”  The comments reflected a wide range of feelings about the nature of Facebook friendship: Friend vs. acquaintance, mood at the time of encounter, context, setting, intentions – responses indicating that Facebook relationships, even with people you have never met IRL (in real life) can be complex and emotional.  Perhaps the best thought out comment was from my IRL friend, Roy Barnes:

 “Here’s a flowchart that I may or may not use: are they a friend or an acquaintance? If friend, try to say something to them IRL. If an acquaintance, was it a shun (not returning friendly gestures) or just narcissistic obliviousness? If former, unfriend. If latter, flip a coin.”

Last year I posted about the then new and somewhat controversial Unfriend Finder Facebook App, asking if it was somehow helpful to know who had unfriended you, or if it could be stressful or even dangerous to have that knowledge.  If you want to give the app a try, you can find and install it HERE. The app displays like this:

 facebook unfriend finder

 Search Facebook for SyncMyFriends.  After installation, the app lists friends you have added and deleted.  The deleted list includes those who have unfriended you.  Press the “Check” button for the latest update.  Of course the app can be blocked by any user,  just like any other app. So what do you think?  Good or bad?  Do you want to know who unfriended you or does it even matter?

Bottom line, many of use Facebook as sort of a buffer and filter for relationships.   We may carry on a long thread with an acquaintance on Facebook and not relate IRL, or maybe we have friended someone for business reasons or because someone close to us recommended them.  The only real way to test if friends are real friends is by employing some old-fashioned methods  like picking up the phone or meeting for lunch for some real IRL interaction.

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Joe Spake is a Memphis-based Real Estate Broker and Consultant. He blogs at Joe Spake's Weblog and Memphis Real Estate Buzz. Joe's Social Network.

  • I don’t consider friends on Facebook as real friends unless we get to talk a lot and share secrets and beliefs.You know Friendship have degrees and it’s something you share for years knowing each other bad habits, understanding each other’s differences and making a lot of memories outside that internet box. 🙂

  • Julie, I agree. I think the choice on Facebook (and Google+) has to do with the level of friendship which you can control with groupings – like “close friends”. Bottom line for me – do I want 5000 “friends” I don’t know or 500-1000 that I have some real connection with?

  • It’s the quality of engagement that matters. I agree with you Joe, sometimes having few yet true friends is better than having lots of facebook friends who doesn’t even talk to you. 🙂

  • If they don’t want to know me in real life, then why be friends on Facebook, other than to boost someone’s ego by increasing their friend count.

  • Shelly

    Did this app go away?

  • App is gone, I used for 6 months now, its a great app, but looks like it got pulled…:(

  • I noticed today, Gil an Shelly. I thought it might have been a FB bug. I will check with the developer and update.

  • See the update I just posted at the head of this post. Unfriend Finder is dead.

  • Annie Lou

    You can be “friends” with folks on Facebook for social gaming purposes. If you are managing a gaming group, an app like unfriend finder is great to see if group members have unfriended a group admin. Unfriend (or block) the admin and you get kicked out of the group.

  • KInd of a moot point now, Annie. The unfriend finder app is gone.

  • This was a top app… but they removed it and I’m searching for a similar … Do you have any ideas?

  • I did some research earlier, and there doesn’t seem to be anything similar. From the developer’s note in the updated post above, it seems that that type of app cannot be developed without violating FB TOS, but I am not a developer. If you discover anything, please post here. Thanks.

  • herna22

    i am not a developer and I thought everything was done oustide FB, like when using greasemonkey.

    It was my understanding that it was taking a snapshot of your friends list and when you login would do a quick check and those not on the list would be flagged. I am wrong?

  • Ben

    I know FaceCount achieves this for Facebook and it’s free to try. Here is the link to the AppStore.

    http://www.appstore.com/facecount

  • Just Dee

    There is an app called Social Fixer that will show you who has unfriended you. It also gives you the option of setting up filters that will group related posts on separate tabs. For example, I have one filter that takes all political posts and puts them on one tab and a second filter that looks for posts having keywords related to a favorite tv show and groups those on a second tab. Check it out on their web site, socialfixer.com. I’ve used it a couple of years and like it.

  • Pink Floyd

    Why does this developer give a crap about their TOS? Facebook can suck it up and deal with it! They have zero legal ground!